Battle Of the Timeline

Like the real world in the twitter realm there is an obvious struggle by tweeters to carefully define the type of twitter personality they want to become. Though it sounds rather petty and perhaps oversimplified, given a month or so each person settles in a comfortable tweet zone. As a "noob" to twitterville in order to attain a perfectly balanced timeline I suppose you would want to follow different twitter personalities in order to get a taste of what twitter is really about. If you are a seasoned twitter user then you are perhaps already aware of the kinds of users your want to follow.


In the not so imaginary land of Twitter you may come across the following:

1. The Vixen- Her twitter picture/ avatar will be of her "sexiest" body parts or may include a picture of her face giving the most seductive look she could come with after many a take in her mirror pictures. She may also have a name like @MisBigBooty_69 and a twitter bio that is so provocative you feel almost guilty reading it. The vixen's tweets hardly ever contain anything edifying but is sure to give you your "money's worth" on Titty Tuesday, Thong Thursday or Twitter After Dark.   
2. The Jest- Their aim is simple. "I must make you laugh!" At the expense of the readers you may witness the growth of a genuinely funny tweeter, a corny tweeter or a simply annoying tweeter. The jest may start out with original material and is then fueled to attack fellow twitter users tweets in order to get a joke and a couple new followers.
3. The Techie Geek: He or she gets excited at the prospect of a new gadget, ap, site etc. And is often ideal in getting an informed opinion about just about anything technology related.
4. News Junkies: Journalist, News hubs, lawyers etc. will occasionally post news items as soon as they happen or are published. Current affairs and informed opinions on them are to be expected.  
5. The Attention seeker: He/She does just about anything to get new followers. "Accidentally" post controversial tweets and pictures. He/she may steal other person's material and post it as their own. He/she is not afraid to get into a twitter fight and ensure that she retweets all the action so her/his timeline gets front row seats for the action. There is never a dull moment with this user. But watch out the drama may become annoying after a while. 
6. The "whoops I thought this was an msn group chat" Tweeter: He/she will flood your timeline with conversations that you can not follow. Not only will they mention random information. He/she may also go as far as mentioning names of persons who are not on twittter. Random tweets of "Lol" or "I can't believe Sally just said that to me" are to be expected. 
7. The Lyricists: When words fail and no opinions can be formulated. This user will flood the time line with #nowplaying #nowwatching and will quote movie lines and songs constantly.
8. Promoters: This seems to be a growing breed. Everyone seems to have a person, party, song, product, fragrance or blog to promote. 
9. Corporate Tweeters: All tweets will be professional and business related. However the masters of the Corporate tweeting game will ensure that they are not only interactive but utilize twitter to ensure that they increase interest in their business. They try to answer each person personally and not with an auto response feature. The TRUE master of the corporate twitter game keeps up to date with twitter trends and see how best they can promote their product without coming across as pompous. 
10. The Spoofers: They create mock accounts of celebrities, famous media personalities, characters from shows. The most recent spoofer that raised a brow or two was the   @BronxZoosCobra who has over 200,000 followers and whose most recent achievement included hacking "American Idol" host, Ryan Seacrest's Twitter account on April Fool's Day. Be sure to check if your celebrity's account is a verified twitter account before you click that follow button. Unless of course you are in for a few laughs and don't mind who is behind the spoof. 
11. Team Follow Back: He/she will tweet but will encourage you to retweet his/her tweets or will mention a bunch of other users who are sure to follow you back. Their sole purpose it seems is to have "total twitter domination" *insert evil giggle here* hmmmm but from my observation it seems to be a competition to see how many persons they can get to follow. What do you do when you have all the twitter users though? Tweets of substance would be nice while we wait for your so called domination    -_- 
12. Social Tweeters: They tweet about the highlights of their day, they will comment on tv shows, new music, new products... just about anything that tickles their fancy. Highly opinionated, naturally funny and never makes desperate pleas for new followers. 
13. Celebrities: My favorites in this category are: @adamlevine @lilduval @AngelaSimmons @OfficialKimora @tyrabanks @chelseahandler @rihanna @NICKIMINAJ @kanyewest @charliesheen